Guest Post by Carmen Kampman
Do we always get what we want in life? Do we get to choose the length of our days? Kate Bowler is a wife, mom, friend, daughter, author, professor, and recent recipient of the news she has incurable stage IV cancer. In her book, Everything Happens for a Reason, she reminds us that we don’t. And it’s not because God doesn’t care that we might be dying (we’re all born to die), or that we want to grow old with our spouse, or that we have the most gorgeous, longed-for child.
Physical healing is a gift of God in the here and now, not a divine right (p. 16). It remains a mystery to those of us suffering as to why we don’t receive healing even though we are appealing to God for it. Kate harrowingly reminds us we’re not on trial before God, that sickness is not necessarily a result of one’s sin or unfaithfulness to God, which those who subscribe to the prosperity gospel believe, and that a suffering believer “is [not] a puzzle to be solved” (p. 16 and 170).
Various Lies
We’re “a people addicted to self-rule” (p. 87). We want God to move now—not tomorrow, not the next day, but right now. Why? Because we’ve anchored our lives to our “well -laid plans” (166), believing the lie that we are “the centre that must hold it together,” that is, the love in our marriage, and the happiness and safety of our children (p. 80). And we’ve not yet realized that we’re not the anchor that holds all of life together, and as Kate articulates, our “little plans are crumbs scattered on the ground” (p.165).
Begging, pleading, and bargaining with God are all part of the human journey at times, and for many the appeal to the Prosperity Gospel (something that Kate has spent over a decade of her life researching) is this: “Believers [want] an escape from poverty, failing health, and the feeling that their lives were leaky buckets” (p. xiii).
Ever feel that way? Ever feel like life was more than you could bare and that your divine right as a Christ follower is to be healed…now? Ever found yourself saying, “I believe, therefore God you should…”?
Responding to Suffering
Kate’s unvarnished look at her noncurative cancer journey reminds us to be present with others in their suffering without trying to fix it, to mine for its rationale, or to discover the lessons God is trying to teach a person. She dispels the lie that says everything happens for a reason and we are entitled to know why things happen (pp. 106-125).
She reminds us to be physically present in our lives by embracing ordinary time because, we’re not entitled to all our dreams, contrary to the lie we may tell ourselves (p. 121).
As a pastor, wife, and mom, there were times when reading this book that I found myself pleading for God to spare this woman’s life, to give her more time with her husband and son. It feels unfair to me that this woman—without a divine miracle—will not grow old with her husband and will not live to see all of her son’s firsts. At other times when reading, I found myself laughing out loud, such as the time she took up swearing for Lent (p. 126).
Wisdom Says…
By the end of the book, I realized I had encountered a woman who exuded wisdom, for those of us willing to listen. Wisdom that says, even in the shadow of death, we must learn to live in “ordinary time,” the time where God is at work in our midst (p. 156). Wisdom that says there are not always definitive reasons for our current suffering, despite the stories we tell ourselves or the lies we believe. And wisdom that reminds us to live in the present because the someday you believe will happen, may not.
If you’re wanting a behind-the-veil view of a Christian woman facing incurable cancer whose wrestled with some of the lies we tell ourselves, and if you’re wanting to know how to be a decent, loving human being to those enduring unimaginable suffering, then this insightful read is for you.
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Full Publication Information
Kate Bowler, Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved (New York: Random House, 2018).
Review copy provided by Random House Publishers.
Guest post by…
Rev. Carmen Kampman is VP of Advancement at Horizon College & Seminary. Ordained with the PAOC, she is a steward of God’s call to women in ministry, and the founder of LEAD Women. Through study, discipline, and passionate encouragement, Carmen cultivates the deep wells of God’s grace and invites others to journey with her, to discover for themselves who they are and how God is calling them to where they want to be. Check out Carmen’s blog at www.carmenkampman.com.You might also be interested in these posts:
I love the quote, “Every thing happens for a reason and sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.”
I am not referring to people with illnesses, but often I hear from people who consistently suffer the results of their own bad decisions, and then they either say God must have his reasons, or how could God let this happen.
Back to the topic, good message, sounds like a good book.
We are called to be diligent and persistent in our prayers and supplication to our Father. I like the phrase ” divine right “. I often have used prayer as a
” bargaining chip” invoking Him to heal. Forgetting, God has a wonderful plan for my life in sickness or health. Psalm 32:8